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I was described by a family friend as very loving at age two, but then I bullied a child at age five and I was suicidal at age seven, downhill from there and associated for 40 plus years. Overall more overt sympathetic activation. When I think of people, I see images of me as a carcass being picked at, I feel enraged when people need anything from me as it feels they’re going to suck the life out of me. I want cry and leave me the F alone. Engaging in healthy aggression and feeling good releases, yet it’s not reducing the terror. Suggestions.

How can we get fear out of our body? Anger seems easy. Hit the pillow, squeeze the towel. But fear, one thing that comes to mind is to run short sprints. But what if my fear is of health issues? I’ve been dealing with some unexplained bone and joint pain and the idea to run also makes me afraid of injuring myself and ending up with new or worse pain. Just sitting with fear and taming it sometimes works but feels like it is only keeping it under the surface. I would like to move it out of my body

So lately I’ve been having fear of falling asleep like I could die when asleep. Also, I’m having a jerking awake sensation while nodding off, sometimes up to 30 or more times a night. Would this be sympathetic activation? Any tips to calm myself down to get some sleep?

“I know dysregulation often causes reduced hunger and appetite, but can the opposite be true?” You betcha. “I’m always hungry, never satiated. When I intentionally eat a balanced meal, I still feel hunger sensations even if I’m physically full and stuffed. I eat more than enough calories every day, about 2,400. I’m overweight and desire to lose some weight, but I’m so triggered by hunger because of the low blood sugar symptoms, so I remain overweight because I’m hungry all the time and am very uncomfortable with hunger.

What are some of the most effective ways to deal with invasive suppressed memories of sexual abuse?” To stabilize and get out of the terror. So again, we’re talking about terror and fear. “I started to retrieve such memories and practice such as orienting helps a bit. However, I can’t sleep from fear of being attacked again.” So again, I could have put these two together, I suppose, I’m realizing. “How do I work with terror at the time It flares up, that does not suppress it, but helps digest it instead?” Any specific exercises for the time the experience is at its most intense

Can you please talk about working with resistance? I’ve read and watched Irene’s articles and videos on resistance several times, but it would help to hear more about it. For example, I had a breakthrough where for about a week I finally could feel the ground under me with my body. And not just from the perspective of noticing it with my mind, but now my system is totally resisting doing more of that. How do I feel into the resistance?

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