Choices about sexual partners. How do I work with this?
Call Tag: tears
In a previous Q&A on being triggered by watching the news you said to differentiate between new grief from the news and our own stored grief being released. I can’t tell when grief is from current, minor, sad things in my life or old unprocessed grief. I have tears, my chest and belly squeezes till I run out of air. I gasp and this repeats until it stops and then I’m numb. How can I tell if I’m just blowing up at minor things and never touching the old stuff?
All right, so today, one big broad theme is freeze. Lots of questions about freeze and different ways that it shows up in different people and what happens as we move in and out of it. To start, one of the things to talk about is the physical manifestations of freeze.
What to do when there’s a big fight? Like say, we do have a partner that we’re close with, it’s going well, but there’s a big blow up, there’s a big fight. In the example they gave, maybe even something got smashed. No one got hurt, but there was some explosiveness or something. What to do in situations like that? How to come back together?
“As I’m able to track my sensations and emotions, I notice it’s easier to cry. To experience sadness and fear, as opposed to anger. And I’m able to rationalize some for the people that have hurt me.” That sounds like maybe you can understand where they were coming from, kind of deal. “They say hurt is under anger, and I don’t want to bypass that emotion altogether.”
I’ve seen a rolfer, and there was some good cries, but then the tension increased afterwards.
In today’s call, Irene gives the example of stubbing her toe and how to work through that in body orienting. Can you please give an example of something happening more emotional than physical and how to work through that in the body? For example, getting into an argument with a spouse or other family member. I feel very triggered by things my spouse says or does, and I know it’s because of my dysregulated nervous system, so I’d like some tips on how to recognize that and release the ball from the pool.
When I wake up, and I’m still in bed, and evenings when I fall asleep, I have uncomfortable pins and needles that arise, kind of nerve pains in my feet and hands. It’s automatic. I try to welcome the sensations without feeding the fear, but it always comes back like a Pavlov response. Most of the time, either I have trouble falling asleep or when I wake up in bed, I always have to come out quickly to not increase the sensations. What could I do to reduce it and not have those sensations anymore?