I had a spontaneous kneecap luxation after coming out of deep freeze and starting healthy aggression and annihilation work. The luxation happened during a normal, calm movement. What relation could there be between a spontaneous luxation of my kneecap and stored survival energy in my knee? I would expect my body to work more naturally and aligned, because of this work. Do you have any tips for recovery and prevention?
Call Tag: pause
I often experience overwhelming grief, shame, shutdown, or experience a feeling in the center of my chest like a vice grip clamping down in mid-conversation, and or in social situations. When this happens, it’s extremely difficult for me to attend or even get viable sentences out. Then I feel more shame for being unable to engage and enjoy, and it becomes a vicious cycle. If I’m not able to remove myself to take a quick break or reset, how do I manage this in the moment?
I noticed my mom and myself playing out a pattern of going into complaining, emphasizing hardships, the obstacles in life, et cetera. My mom does it with me and I do it as well in other relationships. If they feel sorry for me, then they will take care of me. If I am doing okay, then there will be no attention, love and safety, but too much responsibility being asked of.
It’s my third round. I see more and more all the things I do and say to my kids because of my trauma, my reaction to them. But I can’t seem to change my way of behaving. The need to say things when I’m angry is so strong and I can see it’s hurting them. Any idea is how to stop myself. It seems like I react on autopilot.
I can’t remember ever not having been stuck in functional freeze. So my question is, I’m interested in a lot of things, but my brain never comes up with questions. I feel a deeper stirring inside of wanting to know more, but with no idea of what or how to ask. It seems my brain is blocked and there’s also fear. Fear of being seen, heard, judged or attacked for saying something. Do you have any suggestions for breaking free from this pattern?
“Is there anything specific I can do for tightness in my neck that keeps occurring with constriction only on the right side? It occurred a couple of minutes into the kidney practice today, followed by a sense of panic rising. I paused, oriented, shifted attention between my neck and safety in my body.”
Yesterday I felt, again, into the trap of using my little regained energy and pushing through things without noticing my body. At the end of the day, I felt so hyper when I tried to sit down and get in touch with my body. I felt like fleeing and looking for distractions as the sensations were so uncomfortable. Tightness in the chest, throat, heart area. Having a history of physical and emotional abuse, I noticed that is how I usually go through every single day. Any recommendations to work with that?”
And, then the last thing here, bodywork.
All right. Disgust, aggression, gagging. So, there’s many questions about the, “Ugh,” sort of gagging reflex connected to strong emotion, connected to aggression, connected to disgust.
What do I do? I’m going to orient, and I just have all of these thoughts coming in, and I feel distracted, and I can’t pay attention. I want to do this thing.