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“I learned early on to shut down, hold back the anger and tears that result in resentment and grudge holding,” which I assume you mean from your caregivers. The caregivers would resent you, they’d hold a grudge if you showed your anger or your tears. So you learned, your system learned, to shut down. “I’m now observing that when I fall into the shutdown, there’s stubbornness. I’ll hold onto the shutdown for as long as I can, determined to win by not coming out of this state. And any advice for this stubborn, scared part of me to move up and out would be appreciated.”

All right. Disgust, aggression, gagging. So, there’s many questions about the, “Ugh,” sort of gagging reflex connected to strong emotion, connected to aggression, connected to disgust.

Now someone asked if orienting must be done with audio….And also, yeah, if you’re having trouble getting into the program, if you’re feeling one of the other questions, “I just am, I don’t even know if it’s resistance. I’m just exhausted. I don’t have the energy.”

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