I took a nasty revenge on my ex-boyfriend because he betrayed me. I felt extremely guilty afterwards and profusely apologized. However, I wasn’t forgiven. I felt extremely rejected, humiliated, and re-wounded all over again. Now I cannot seem to shake the feeling off. I cannot locate the feeling in my body. It’s only in my mind as an eternal loop of events. In the context of SBSM, how can I forgive myself and integrate it? I’ve done the healthy shame work, but how to stop with the toxic shame.
Call Tag: loop
“As I’m able to track my sensations and emotions, I notice it’s easier to cry. To experience sadness and fear, as opposed to anger. And I’m able to rationalize some for the people that have hurt me.” That sounds like maybe you can understand where they were coming from, kind of deal. “They say hurt is under anger, and I don’t want to bypass that emotion altogether.”