My daughter was born at the start of COVID when stress was high and I was having career uncertainty. I remember I freaked out when she was born, and recently through SBSM, I realized how this moment was kind of a stored survival stress that made me see parenting as scary and overwhelming. Any tips on how to work on fully releasing that so I can shift my relationship with parenting? I recently started tapping into the joy of parenting after those insights, and I want to experience this fully.
Call Tag: fear
I can sit with bodily sensations without fearing the fear, but nothing comes up to make it complete. No movement, no sound, et cetera. It feels much harder when it’s not a specific shock trauma, but instead long term stress and pushing oneself, never feeling enough, feeling unsafe around people since childhood. What might it look like then?”
Old fears have been arising, especially regarding medical issues. Feels paralyzing. A thought that just arose ‘I’ve emasculated myself.’ As an older woman, I now have what I wanted, a very small, confined sense of safety regarding living conditions and finance. I’m just managing, yet I feel trapped. I feel hopeless, alone. Glimpses of not wanting to exist, but not suicide, but just pointlessness and apathy. Life forces felt near zero a while. A deep core though keeps saying, “Keep going.” You said you had times of feeling you were dying, et cetera. Can you say more about that?
I noticed my mom and myself playing out a pattern of going into complaining, emphasizing hardships, the obstacles in life, et cetera. My mom does it with me and I do it as well in other relationships. If they feel sorry for me, then they will take care of me. If I am doing okay, then there will be no attention, love and safety, but too much responsibility being asked of.
How can we get fear out of our body? Anger seems easy. Hit the pillow, squeeze the towel. But fear, one thing that comes to mind is to run short sprints. But what if my fear is of health issues? I’ve been dealing with some unexplained bone and joint pain and the idea to run also makes me afraid of injuring myself and ending up with new or worse pain. Just sitting with fear and taming it sometimes works but feels like it is only keeping it under the surface. I would like to move it out of my body
I’m having trouble staying with the sensations in my body. A lot of fear comes up when I do this. There must be something wrong with me. The start of a disease or a health concern. I suspect this is related to preverbal trauma and just not feeling safe in my body. Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with this?
I can’t remember ever not having been stuck in functional freeze. So my question is, I’m interested in a lot of things, but my brain never comes up with questions. I feel a deeper stirring inside of wanting to know more, but with no idea of what or how to ask. It seems my brain is blocked and there’s also fear. Fear of being seen, heard, judged or attacked for saying something. Do you have any suggestions for breaking free from this pattern?
What could a possible connection be between vaginismus…” That’s hard to pronounce. Constriction of the vagina when there tries to be penetration, essentially is what that is. “And then around four years of interstitial cystitis. What’s the connection between these things? The interstitial cystitis has resolved, but vaginismus has not. No trauma that comes to mind as a possible connection, although I’m realizing these issues are not due to bad luck or chance.” No. “Is there any advice you can give me, a little insight as to what could be going on?
Something my trauma patterns have a hard time doing is making decisions. I either freeze up and stay stagnant, or I have to adrenalize myself forward and bypass the fear. Especially if it’s a bigger decision, like finding a way to make money long term, or where to live for a couple months. I’m curious, when there’s still trauma present, how can we make aligned decisions? Or is it more about not getting hung up on making the right decisions, and just living our life to the best of our ability?
“As I’m able to track my sensations and emotions, I notice it’s easier to cry. To experience sadness and fear, as opposed to anger. And I’m able to rationalize some for the people that have hurt me.” That sounds like maybe you can understand where they were coming from, kind of deal. “They say hurt is under anger, and I don’t want to bypass that emotion altogether.”