In training call five, Irene makes a point to grieve over lack of early childhood self-regulation and trauma and move on, grieve it and move on. I am feeling so stuck in the grieving vortex. I would love tips on how to close that chapter and move on from being angry at my parentsoddjar2024-08-29T17:10:08-07:00
My codependent friend and roomie shares her relationship problems with me. If I engage or share anything personal, it inevitably turns into unqualified mutual therapy. This used to feel like care and bonding to me, but now it disgusts me. I become enmeshed and dysregulated for days or weeks. Months ago, I told her I couldn’t discuss her problems anymore and I enjoyed a respite. But with her recent breakup, this pattern has resurfaced. I can’t afford to engage like this anymore. What is healthy intimacy?oddjar2024-08-29T17:10:08-07:00
How does use of alcohol, whether moderate or excessive, impact this work? I find that it’s easier for me to access my emotions when I drink alcohol, and I don’t know why. However, use of alcohol makes me more anxious in general. I feel like while it can be helpful in some ways, it’s more damaging than helpful in the long run.oddjar2024-08-29T17:10:08-07:00
Sometimes I find myself trying to force things to come up in this work, like feelings and movements. I have preverbal trauma and I know trauma is related to being forced to do things, including sexual trauma. When I try to force things to come up, it feels like I’m violating myself, and I wonder in these instances, if I’m tapping into the energy of my trauma. It feels like I’m playing out both parts, victim and perpetrator, inside myself. Does this make sense? And any advice for working with this?oddjar2024-08-29T17:01:09-07:00
I was adopted, not touched by my birth mother, but not adopted for six weeks. You mentioned intergenerational trauma. With this work, am I clearing birth family, adopted family, or both?oddjar2024-08-29T17:01:09-07:00
I seem to be attaching stories to some somatic experiences as I go through SBSM. Can’t tell what’s accurate or conflated. Some stuff isn’t clear and feels like guesswork. For example, a family member sexually abusing me when I was young. I don’t think this actually happened, or maybe I don’t want it to be true. Recently when activated, I saw a vision of me being dragged by the arms along the ground and had a feeling this was past life stuff. Could I be putting unhelpful mind narratives on things?oddjar2024-08-29T17:01:09-07:00
Someone was asking actually about my relationship with Irene and how to navigate a relationship where there’s a lot of love and connection and interest and also triggers and things getting stirred up. And really that can go one of two waysoddjar2024-08-29T17:00:14-07:00
What to do when just people in general that you encounter seem like characters from your past?” Like your landlord reminds you of your third grade teacher or your boss is echoing patterns from your father. Why?oddjar2024-08-29T17:00:14-07:00
What to do if you’re in a situation like a single mom who has kids and you’re trying to do this work and you don’t have the break that that partner can come in and give youoddjar2024-08-29T17:00:14-07:00
