This section addresses the following questions:

• I felt very relaxed with this exercise. But when I got to the part where we pause until we transition to inhale, I noticed how tense I was everywhere and I couldn’t relax, especially in my pelvic area. Is the goal to be able to relax our body at this stage?
• I found my body being quite tense in the physical process of trying to keep the pause at the end of the exhale — because Irene said to hold it until we absolutely NEED to inhale, that was quite an effort. It makes me wonder if I should adapt in some way what I was doing?
• It was interesting to pause before the inhale. At first, I felt as if I could stay without inhaling for a long, long time, and it felt deeply calming, and as if I could slip into an altered state. Then I started to worry that it may not be such a good idea to slip into such a relaxed state while pausing my breath. Once I focused on breathing out for longer and letting more breath out, this changed. Then I felt less comfortable pausing and needed to inhale sooner. I have some ideas myself and would love to know how you’d explain this?
• I have worked with this breathing exercise before, and it creates a lot of anxiety for me. I have a hard time waiting and sensing for the body’s need to inhale, because what I feel when I let go of the exhale is anxiety, and like I want to gasp for air.

As with most of the neurosensory exercises in this program, the goal isn’t to have any specific outcome, but to discover more deeply what is happening inside us. If in pausing and waiting for the inhale to come we notice tension, then that is all we need to do; just notice the tension and where it is. Then, we see what happens as the inhale arrives. Does the tension change in some way?

One thing is certain: as long as we are alive, our body WILL breathe. Negotiating the space between where our mind thinks we need to breathe, and when the body organically breathes on its own, puts us into an interesting space, during which many things may arise. Focusing awareness on this pause in between breaths can be a very calm and meditative state for some, and it can also dip us into the shutdown response, if that is already held in our system.

Many of us unconsciously manage our breath in some way so as to avoid this kind of liminal space, during which held tensions and old emotions may surface. Also, we may find that when we think we are done exhaling, that there is actually still more air in the lungs, and breathing that air out may let some things arise. Also, if we really expel all our air, it’s interesting to see how that influences the rate at which our inhale wants to come. It’s all about discovery.

If this causes a lot of anxiety, then you can always leave it and come back later. If, when you pause after exhaling, you feel anxious and need to gasp for air, that is almost certainly part of an old trauma response. Maybe see what it is like to allow that gasp to fully happen. Feel what it’s like to have the air come in along with that sound, and then notice if it’s different next time.